The Truth about Self-Love and What to Remember is something to keep in our mind’s eye daily—bi-weekly—so that the practice of thought can become instilled on a deeper level, resulting in us being more in-tune with its benefits and how it stengthens us, inside-out.
Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that is cultivated through our thoughts and actions.
What is true self love?
Real self–love is about embracing who you are and being okay with sharing all the gifts you came into this world with, including your vulnerabilities, your quirky or not-so-quirky self, your true passions, your serious or funny side—your magic. You not only share that with yourself and can ‘sit‘ with you, but you also allow others to see ‘you.’ In short, self-love is the intrinsic permission to believe that you don’t have to be something other than yourself…that you are enough.
Self-love and Recovery
We live in a world of duality; a world of right and wrong, positive and negative, says Lesley Wirth in a blog she wrote for Recovery.org, an addiction resource website. “Many people view things from a lens of black and white, even if it is unconscious. When it comes to recovery, it is laden with right and wrong. Even if it is spoken about in the context of forgiveness and getting back on the wagon if one falls off, there is a lot of guilt and shame people feel when they relapse. Not to mention shame for using in the first place.” She states that there is a strong belief of “I am doing it good and right when I am sober,” and “I am not as good of a person if I am using or relapsing.”
Recovery and Accountability
By being honest with ourselves and admitting that we can make the choice to heal our relationship with ‘self’ is granting us free-will…the opportunity to start engaging with different thoughts—those of which our addiction is not our enemy but rather it served as a coping skill to try to navigate life and now is no longer helpful to our soul, spirit. Simply put, our essence.
Wirth pinpoints the challenge of change of life, change of action, saying, “I think this can be scary for some people because they are so afraid of who they are as an addict, that bringing real and true compassion to themselves, is shaky ground and makes them feel vulnerable. They believe that so long as they hate that part of themselves, and make it wrong, they won’t go back there.” But is the way to live?
Sitting with difficult feelings is challenging, but it’s the only way through to moving forward. That’s why practicing self-love elevates, not under-inflates.
“When you hold yourself in high esteem, you’re more likely to choose things that nurture your well-being and serve you well. These things may be in the form of eating healthy, exercising or having healthy relationships.” ~ upjourney.com
If you feel you need to incorporate more self-love in your life, these helpful tips can help:
1. You are inherently enough. Living a plentiful life does not come from material belongings—what society views as “success.” The real beauty, truth and innate goodness in ourselves come from priceless moments like laughing, loving, learning, expressing—creating our wildest dreams. So have fun doing it!
2. Comparison is a waste of energy. Just as no two stones, no two gems are alike, there is only one you. Embrace your gifts, vulnerabilities, your quirkiness, sense of humor, passions—the magic of you. Also, it’s important to note patience and persistency: be patient with yourself, but be persistent, and don’t forget to gently remind yourself that self-love is ever evolving.
3. You are not your past. Respect that each moment is a gift. The philosopher Heraclitus once preached: “You never bathe in the same river twice, because it’s never the same river and it’s never the same you.” Remember that there is always enough room, space for growth in the present and the past does not define you.
4. Practice Loving Self-talk. Sometimes we talk to ourselves in the harshest tone, using words we would never repeat aloud to another person. This could be something we learned in our home growing up, how we heard others talk or how we were talked to. Instead of berating yourself, using self-defeating language, reframe your language—use words that build you up, not tears you down.
Ways to Practice Self Love:
- Take time for yourself first thing in the morning.
- Practice self-love by painting your nails, taking time out for a massage, treating yourself to a nice lunch or dinner and/or a movie.
- Exercise and don’t be afraid to mix it up.
- Give yourself more grace.
- Practice self-love and stop apologizing.
- Say “no.”
- Tune out people who bring negativity into your life.
- Practice self-love and get REST.
- Realize it is OK to ask for help.
- And remember it’s OK to feel All types of feelings. We’re only human afterall.
If you would like further information, or if you’re looking for guidance in recovery or mental health for you or a loved one, please contact us today.
Connections in Recovery (CiR) assists individuals struggling with addiction and mental health issues to connect with the best providers, recovery companions and treatment resources to support long-term positive recovery outcomes. Through personalized action plans, CiR is committed to finding the right solution, “best fit,” for each individual.